Leader vs Boss: What Your Employees Really Think About You
Photo by Sebastian Arie Voortman from Pexels
Do you ever stop to think ‘I wonder what my team thinks of me?’. Well, why don’t you just ask them the question? Their answers will tell you everything, even if they tell you nothing. That’s because there are two kinds of employers - bosses and leaders (Hint: You want to be the second one).
How does a boss act?
You ask your employees what they think of you. There’s an ever-so-slight look of panic in their eyes and their body language goes rigid. They hesitate. Maybe a nervous laugh escapes one of their mouths. Those are your first warning signs - what you’re about to hear is them racking their brains for positives or sharing just enough to answer the question. Or maybe just a straight-up lie that’ll stroke your ego and get them brownie points. This is definitely not what you want, but what could be causing them to answer this way? Here are 3 reasons they could be sugar-coating it:
Your ego is too fragile for feedback - Bringing your ego to work is one of the most damaging things you can do for your work relationships. If you think your employees are below you or aren’t good enough to be giving you feedback, you’re wrong. Cheryl from Project Management thinks your briefing skills are atrocious and she has to redo all the briefs you write before sending them out. So instead of you developing a skill, Cheryl spends every day developing a skill you don’t have.
You lack a connection with them - Work is work, right? Professionalism and whatnot mean you shouldn’t sit around and talk with your employees… right? And you especially shouldn’t show any vulnerability or emotion in front of your employees. Except you should actually be doing the opposite. The trust that your employees have in you is essential for collaboration and communication and is built through connection. If they’re talking in the breakroom and your presence kills the conversation, that’s a bad sign. That means your team is a team… without you in it.
You make it seem like you don’t value them - Do you value them? There are many ways you could be doing this. Underpaying them, talking down to them, micro-managing them, not listening to them and one-way communication are all part of the starter pack that creates disgruntled employees. Your employees know their value and they will look for work somewhere their leadership does too.
How do I become a better leader?
You ask your team what they think of you. They smile warmly and maybe one of them starts out with a roast. You all laugh and you’re glad they feel comfortable enough to joke around with you. Then they start to praise you and list all your good qualities: empathetic, understanding, kind, good communicator - the list goes on! So, how do you get there? Let’s look at some skills you can work on:
Empathy - Empathy is the ability to connect with other people and truly understand and demonstrate concern and care. A study by Catalyst found that empathy increases innovation and productivity whilst decreasing stress and burnout. To practice empathy: check in with your employees before every meeting or after major company events, be understanding of people’s personal life matters and mental health and how they may disrupt work - offer your team mental health days.
Vulnerability - Let’s face it, it’s difficult to connect with someone who isn’t willing to open up. If you’re feeling stressed or are dealing with something in your personal life it’s okay to share it. You don’t have to go into excruciating detail about it, but a small share will go a long way in helping your team feel connected to you. An example: “This problem that we’re dealing with has been weighing a lot on my mind lately and I really hope it can be sorted soon.”
Listening - Ever say something to someone and they completely ignore you? Frustrating, isn’t it? That’s exactly how you don’t want your team to feel. Practicing active listening will go a long way in discussions, feedback, and everyday conversations. Having a team that feels seen and heard will make them much happier. Communication is a two-way street listen to them the way you want to be listened to.
It’s worth noting that these 3 skills are merely the tip of the leadership iceberg and there are many other skills you can develop as well - but starting with these will open you up to hearing what you need to improve from the experts (your team). So, consider starting your next meeting with empathy by asking your team how they’re really doing and reciprocating with vulnerability. Also, learn how to write briefs so that Cheryl can focus on her Project Manager duties.
