The Qualities of a Good Leader & Why They’re All Communication-Based

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When you look up what a good leader is, you get a lot of results about good leaders having good decision-making abilities, good communication skills, and problem-solving skills. They will tell you good leaders should be able to inspire, motivate and empower their team and all that. But let’s get to the heart of it.

What is a good leader?

A good leader leads. Who do they lead? People. Human beings. Human beings with personal lives, emotions, feelings, and experiences - all of which shape why they chose their job, what they are capable of doing (physically and emotionally) and what they need from their leadership. A good leader is someone who understands that. A good leader sees people and understands each person by taking time to learn who they are and how they can help them. But this is a very different view of leadership compared to a few decades ago.

How leadership has changed

If we look at how Gen X leadership differs from that of Gen Z, we see a big gap in what values people searched for in leadership. Sure, problem-solving and decision-making are all-around good skills to have, but when where we see the biggest difference is emotional professionality. This means that when people went to work they were expected to leave all emotional baggage, feelings, and experiences at home. It was a grin-and-bear-it type of work environment that created toxic practices that we’re still trying to change now. No, going back to work the day after your loved one passed because it’s ‘expected’ is not healthy and sets a toxic standard for everyone else in the office, Jerry. Take the time off and get some therapy while you’re at it.


Why leaders can't just be communicators

Communication as a skill has many facets but typically at work, we view it as effective communication - clear, concise, contextual information to avoid misunderstandings. No longer. As a leader, you are responsible for human beings that, at one point or another, are going to have issues in their life that conflict with work. You can be a great communicator, but clear, concise, and context is not going to help you here. If you do not know how to handle such situations with grace and humanity, you are going to lose the trust and love of your team. Let me give you some examples:

  • People who need mental health days - yeah, but you don’t have a mental health issue and you don’t need mental health days so no one else should, right? No. Everyone has their limits, physically and emotionally.

  • Expecting people to work during their lunch break - this will lead to burnout. Just because you have no idea what boundaries are, doesn’t mean you should break everyone else's.

  • False promises - you promise your team you’ll give them a half day on Friday if they finish their work. They are a little behind and it’s a problem - but you’re a problem solver, right? They finish their work early but you just give them more instead. Trust? Broken. Moods? Bad. Motivation? Gone.

5 Qualities of a Good Leader

So, what are the good qualities of a leader? They’re quite simple actually and all they require is for you to act like a human being and treat others like one too.

Empathy - Empathy in leadership is the ability to understand, relate to, and share the feelings of those around you. Leaders with empathy can put themselves in the shoes of their followers and gain insight into what motivates, inspires, and drives them. So when Jerry tells you that his loved one passed, you give him your genuine condolences and advise him to take the time he needs to grieve.

Vulnerability - Vulnerability means sharing what’s going on for you emotionally and personally. Now, you don’t have to treat your team like your personal therapists and share every excruciating detail, but letting them know you’re struggling with your sleep schedule because you just had a baby and so you’re tired will help them understand you and will build trust and a connection. Or just don’t tell them you ever had a baby or a partner and let them think you’re a hermit with no time for social life and you live in the office. Your choice.

Honesty - Nothing stifles connection and trust like dishonesty. Do you want your team to be honest with you? You first. Honesty and accountability both up and down the hierarchy (even though hierarchies don’t really matter and that’s so 90’s of you) will go a long way in relationships and professional growth.

Authenticity - Authentic leaders lead with a sense of purpose and passion and focus on creating positive change. They put their values and beliefs into action, and their decisions and behaviors are consistent with their vision. If you flip-flop and change every day, your team is going to lose faith in you and might even just do their own thing (and you’ll be too busy going back and forth to notice).

Humility - Stay humble in the face of success and failure. Have a sense of self-awareness and understand the impact of your actions on your team. It involves recognizing and appreciating the strengths and contributions of those around you and being willing to admit mistakes and failures. A humble leader is also able to accept constructive criticism and feedback and use it to grow and improve. When Brenda says you need to work on your presentation skills, don’t take it personally - go work on your presentation skills.

So, which of these qualities do you possess? If you have enough self-awareness it should be relatively easy to assess. Alternatively, you might think you’ve mastered all of these skills and you don’t see your employees outside of meetings because they’re busy being productive and definitely not avoiding you. Hopefully, you can be honest with yourself… honesty's on the list after all.

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How Self-Awareness at Work Fosters Connection